Let it Out

[Arien]

So I was wondering if other folks just need a sounding board or a place to simply vent when stressed?

Oh, well - yay for new threads on new forums!


Anyway. A girl I have known for 8 years is driving me mad. We were friends but everything has become so one-sided (in her favor) that I have simply felt used for the last 2 years. I feel guilty about not wanting to spend time with her, but it is always about her, whomever she is obsessing over, what she wants to do, and so on so forth. And I suspect that with her out of control spending and debt she is going to start asking me for money, which I honestly cannot afford to give her.

I feel awful because I know she has been having a difficult time, but know that she loves the attention and self pity that go with it and refuses to be mature and hold down a job. (She gets hired and immediately quits.) I feel wretched avoiding her and screening her calls, but I feel worse giving in and being around her.

So I've been guilt tripping for weeks.

[Emmie]

I don't have anything to add at the moment, but thanks for starting the thread.

It sounds like a difficult situation with your friend and I'm not sure what to suggest. But I definitely know the guilty feeling of needing to do something, for my own sake, which could affect others negatively.

[Elven]

Arien, I've been in similar situations before where friendships become very one-sided. Obviously every situation is different but my personal view is that at some point you have to stand up for yourself. I'm not condoning a massive argument or anything but perhaps explain how you feel to her.

With one friend in the past, I found that she called me whenever the slightest thing went wrong for her because I lived so close by. Eventually when my life became busier with classwork and I couldn't rush to her aid every five minutes, she actually began to stand on her own two feet a little.

Completely different situation, I know, but sometimes people may not realise they're using you. :) Whatever happens, I hope it works out for you! *hugs*